on being utterly unremarkable

Something I had been thinking about for a few days was mentioned to me the other day, and inspired me to write about it. It was something along the lines of: Being blonde doesn’t have quite the same effect in Denmark.

I had to agree. Not that I am the most stunning person in the world, but being blonde/blue-eyed and being able to cutesy-it-up has certainly had its benefits. I’ve definitely batted my eyes and smiled my way through a lot of stuff over time, gotten my share of free drinks, talked my way out of a speeding ticket, etc. (I’m not going to lie, sometimes I’ve contemplated adding in a ‘fake’ accent just to see what the effect might have been). In the US if you are a girl and even somewhat attractive, you’re guaranteed some male attention. It’s actually pretty good for the self esteem.

Now, I am surrounded by tall, blonde, blue-eyes, beauties. I walk into a room and immediately feel inferior to the Amazon women walking around with their long blonde hair and their long skinny legs, always immaculately dressed and accessorized, ability to drink the average Irish man under the table and at the same time seem completely oblivious to their beauty.

To make things worse, it makes life a lot harder when you no longer come with an entourage. I’ve been spoiled these past years, having always been surrounded by a posse of fun, beautiful girls and lots of fun guys. When you come as a group, you can always just make fun of the prettier girls; you can have fun and smile and pretend you are the coolest people in any setting just because you come as a group.

Anyway, it’s just another adjustment I have to make. I’m not trying to say that Americans are ugly or I’m ugly or trying to fish for compliments. I’m just saying that the stereotypes about Scandinavians are absolutely true; it’s like walking around in a sea of blonde. It’s hard to stand out in a crowd. Maybe I should finally dye my hair purple like I’ve been talking about for years? ;o)

Also, remember how I talked about Sidney Lee in my last post? I was wrong about him. He is actually a ‘professional gamer,’ not whatever I said he was. He is also a part of this show “singleliv.” It’s impossible to properly describe this guy, but he is everywhere, everyone knows who he is, and everyone talks about him. This weekend, probably 10 different people have told me (on their own) some version of the following: “Well it doesn’t sound like you’ve acquired an American accent, like Sidney Lee did…..”


Oooh Denmark.

on being culturally illiterate

As many of you know, and will be eternally amused by, there are many things about the English language and the American culture that I don’t understand and several that I may never understand. There are things like the cartoons you watched as a kid, the fads that were in through your middle school years, or just the pronunciation of less commonly used words such as Braille.

However hard I’ve worked at properly adapting and integrating into American culture, there are just some things that are will always be lost in translation if you miss out on a few critical years. While I spent my much of my childhood and my early teens in Denmark, my peers went through 3-9 grade. That’s most of elementary school, all of middle school, and the first year of high school. Even though I certainly had it easier that many people I know that had to enter high school without any experience of the language or culture, there are many things I don’t understand and many conversations that go over my head.
Anyway, we’ve all had our laughs over the fact that I missed out on some American education. Some of it’s even been funny for me.

But I’ve always considered myself a little bit of an expert on Danish culture, having nearly grown up over here and all, but had a rude awakening to Danish Pop culture within my first few days here. Apparently a lot happens when you leave for a few years. So the past few days I’ve been on a self-taught intensive Danish Pop Culture course. I’ve learned a lot! And I’m willing to share with you guys:

• Nik&Jay: a Danish rap duo. Even though they started gaining popularity right before I left 7 years, their still going strong and are (surprisingly enough) probably the most popular/well known musicians in the country. I have to give them some credit for that though, for two white guy rappers, they’ve remained on top for a really long time. Every few years, whenever I return to Denmark, I hear their songs all over the radio, TV and nightclubs, and I’ve once again come to the conclusion that A. all their songs sound alike, B. their not very attractive, and C. they are not very good. (Also, I’ve been using the TV to catch up on my Danish music, because surprisingly enough, it seems that there are two channels that ACTUALLY PLAY MUSIC and music videos. It’s not MTV, of course, but VH1 and The Voice. They show nonstop music videos, usually organized into themes (think, Michael Jackson or “Dance party”) or hit lists (think European top 40 or top 10 club).
• “De unge modre” (the young mothers): this is exactly what it sounds like. It’s kind of like the Danish version of the MTV show “16 and pregnant” except it focuses on the lives of the mothers and their children as they grow up together. Cute. I’ve been told it’s one of the shows to watch (along with ‘singleliv’) and I already get the appeal: they make me cringe and never want to reproduce. It seems deliciously trashy and worthless; thereby making it perfect for me.
• “Singleliv” (singlelife): I’m still not quite sure what the point of this show is. It follows single people as they go on dates. From the short moments I’ve seen, it seems kind of awkward. You’ll have to give me some time for this one. But I’m working on it!
• “Baronessen flytter ind” (the Baroness moves in): So a few years ago, this Baroness gained fame after her and her husband invited the cameras into their castle to film their lives. Then they got divorced and for some reason, probably because her expensive habits are quickly causing her to go broke, she signed up for this new show. It most closely resembles a very odd version of “Wifeswap.” This is the concept: Baroness chooses random family, hopefully one that’s a bit odd. Baroness moves into house. Wife moves into castle for 4 days of pampering, makovers, and luxury. Baroness sees how real household works. Baroness tries to make some sort of change to the house (redecorates living room, changes husbands haircut, teaches kids expensive habits). Wife comes back home. Everyone is happy.
• Sidney Lee: This guy is a character. He’s a professional Reality Television Personality. Now who ever heard of such a thing? He spent a few years in the US and now speaks with a perpetual slight American accent. You’ll really just have to see him to really get it, because I still don’t.
  
  All right, I’m out. School and such!